This guys walks into a bar and the bartender immediately notices how depressed this guy is. "Give me a beer", said the guy. "Sure thing," said the bartender, "by the way, why the long face? "I just found out my oldest son is gay", replied the guy.
The next day the same guy walks back into the bar and orders a beer and a few shots of whiskey. "Whats wrong now?", asked the bartender noticing he is twice as depressed as the day before. "I just found out my youngest son is gay too."
The next day the same guy walks in with tears pouring out of his eyes. "God doesn't anyone in your house like girls?", asked the bartender.
The guy said, "Yeah, my wife!"
Second JOke
Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."
Priest: "What have you done my child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "But father he had AIDS!"
Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"
